if you hold an empty gatorade bottle up to your ear you can hear the sports
my anaconda dont want none unless u got nugs hun
signal boost this post
three word horror story: The beep test
OKAY SO AT MY SCHOOL ITS CALLED THE FUCKING PACER AND THAT JUST SOUNDS TERRIFYING ENOUGH BUT THE BEEP TEST SOUNDS LIKE A GODDAMN ELEMENTARY GAME BUT NO THIS IS HELL AND EVIL WRAPPED INSIDE A GYM OF SELF LOATHING AND SWEAT
what the fuck is the beep test
someone please educate the innocent
You run until you die
Well you’re not wrong
do you know how scary it is to acknowledge how strong your feelings are for someone and your brain is like “maybe you love them” and you’re like SHUT THE FUCK UP BRAIN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT
prepare for high school then prepare for college then prepare for your career then prepare for retirement then you’re dead
then prepare for skeleton war
- Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
- Me: *turns up music*
- Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
- Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
- Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
- Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
- Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
- Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
- Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
- Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
- Lady cop: I can make that happen.
- Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
- Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
- Entire train: *applauds*